CHANGES MY WHOLE LIFE: HOW TO COPE THROUGH TOWER MOMENTS AKA FML TIMES
CHANGE IS SO SCARY. I AM NOT GONNA LIE AND ACT LIKE I AM really fucken awesome and change doesn't scare me because it DOES. I just go ahead and do shit anyways. Because I don't know worst that is gonna happen is I will fail and have to start all over. Which I am use to by now. I built up that resilliance to failing
But thing is my dude, you have to fail. You have to take the leap in life and the chance and not protect your ass when you take that ramp on the hill down. Because the pain is where the LESSON is. Those hard times are Strengthening times. The back of my head hurts right now sometimes I think I have CTE from getting hit in the head so much as a kid. But its what evs mind over Matter so I tell myself, yO YOUR HEAD IS BEAUTIFUL & EXCELLENT HEALTH
Anyways I digress, Okay So many times in life I tried out things and I failed, I took courses, I moved places I tried contests I applied to jobs I competed in things... I TRIED & FAILED
That is where the Wisdom and strengthening lies. So nowadays when folks are like "Cherish how the fuck do you travel so much alone and live everywhere and go everywhere and you aint afraid?" - I am Jesus Bitches.
Jk Nawww Shout out to Jesus by the way. Everyone is like when is Christ coming back? When is he resurrected? I am like yooo he is already here within you that temple that he was talking about? That was within you all along that was what Jesus teachings were meant to teach you all along was that you are God in the flesh and you are the manifestor of your beautiful world. You do not NEED NO OUTSIDE POWER OR temple to go seek God. He is within in!!! YOu are that TEMPLE YOU are that Vessel!!! YOU DO NOT GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY TO A RELGIOUS SANCTION TO SEEK GOD HE IS already within you !!!! This whole time that was his teachings. OWN YOUR POWER
Okay, So back to it here First Off I am never alone in my journeys my Kokum and my dad are always with me every time I move to a new city they are right there with me, Literally, I see them. They are hella thirsty with their energy when I am in a new place because they worry about me and try protect me all the time. As well as the divine Mother Anza is down for me because I promised my life to her first and foremost.
This world is in a state of toxic masculine. All these systems running this world are choking the love and the life out of humanity. It is toxic masculine as fuck. So, she is her energy Mama Anza Energy is coming on Hellla strong right now at this day and age. Because, she is here to replace the DIVINE FEMinine to help heal and even out the polarity. You always need that equilibrium in every state of universal being or you're fucked my dude. Just like we are right now we are in hell. But amen slowly and surely the collective the masses are starting to wake up.
So, I am happy and I am always game to do new things because I have this innate innner knowing that if I leap hey, even if I fail, Which I usually don't know... I will become stronger and wiser and able to be like "Yes, bitch I know exactly wtf you mean"
So, in that way since my child hoood I have had no choice but to be pushed into changes. I guess you can say I got the cheatsheet for changes in life because I had a not so normal childhood with starvation, alcoholism addiction, little alcoholic at 4 years old, violence as the norm and baseline, you name it sis. As a child this violence shit was the norm this chaos and co dependancy and unhealed folk was the norm for me as a child. So, even today I am still healing from all of this.
Takes time can't just wake up one day and be like holy fuck I am a strong, wise bitch. Nooooo it takes a lot of pain alot of alone time with you HEALING AND FEELING SOBER 100 IN THAT QUIETNESS OF Infinity cosmo
IT IS IN the quiet moments when you find yourself and you find peace and calm. So, alot of days I just lay there in my duck feather bed just being still. It is so calming you guys. Seriously cry if it needs to come up, laugh if it feels it needs to come up. But be still with yourself and be quiet and listen to the song of your inner god your higher self that dwells within waiting to be heard.
I talk to my little baby inner Cherish alot too. My inner child Cherish the little bald patched wearing the same clothes everyday little value village, little starving, feeling like a loser, beat up neglected kid. I speak to her alot everyday or every second day and I tell her "I love you so much my beautiful little gorgeous baby no one is ever going to hurt you or be mean to you again I got you I will not abandon you or I will not neglect you or put you last. You will always and forever come first I love you and I am here for you, you little cute babykins"
Something along those lines. It is important to mother your inner child the way you wished you would have been loved as a child. Alot of us are raised from folks who do not even love themselves, so how do expect them to love another?
Moving alot getting tossed around from my mom to my kokum to my dad to family members in commununiites was the norm for me. So, Change change is accepted to me as a way of life so I am pretty much cool with it. Throw me to the wolves I will come back Gangster leading em or them copying everything I wear and do since folks tend to do that alot which is all good.
Change is great for everyone. It keeps you alive and not a slow boring life.
So the huge thing I am learning right now is Non attachment and unconditional love. And giving folks the benefit of a doubt to chill the fuck out and give me the answers before I blow their head off.
I still have anger issues.... dahhh healing is a process I am not just gonna wake up and be full on Mother Theresa one day chill.
Anyways This is the first Blog on CHANGE HOW TO