So, first off . Throw your mf Dating check list away.
Like yes, have standards but make sure your standards are serving you. Make sure that you are leaving room for Opportunity and potential.
Usually, the right one is someone who you do not expect at the most random time in the most weirdest of consequences of sequence of events.
YOU need to establish your dating patterns the ROOOOT. The Root of your dating patterns and if they have been serving you up until now? Or have you been dating the same emotionally unavailable men?
If you are use to a child home that always brought chaos. And if Chaos was your base line it would take decades to heal these patterns of abuse and inner child healing. TO finally have the taste of a healthy love laced with peace and safety and no underlining motives would be alien to anyone who is use to chaotic, anxious, stress induced, traumatic love.
The way in which you were brought up in your childhood home is a direct link to the way you project love and receive love in your adult hood years. Sometimes these cycles of self sabotage also in receiving love takes time to heal also. A lot of us at young ages had chances and had that healthy, peaceful love but sabotaged it because we did not know what to do with such peace and tranquility. We were use to the bad boy, the prick, the live fast die hard type, the real cocky no fucks given type. Because he brought with him all that anxious, turmoil, emotionally unavailable, verbal abuse we were so use to and accustomed to in our childhood homes. TRAUMA bonding is usually our first love.
Usually, the right one is someone who you do not expect at the most random time in the most weirdest of consequences of sequence of events.
Who the fuck cares how tall someone is or how tall they NEED to be or what career they lead. It is all about FREQUENCY & ENERGY and big dick.. lmfao jk about the wiener part. Speaking of that so many women limit themselves based on size and that is also something that needs to be thrown out because sis.... YOu aint going to be fcking the guy 80 years old on that deck over looking your guys estate. What always matters besides anything physical is the way they make you feel!!!!
What is the feeling the resonance they leave you with on a daily basis? Do you feel validated, safe, loved and full after your love beloved departs and does what they do on the daily or or... or do you sit there and wonder what they are thinking about you both do you sit there and wonder how they feel about you and if they loved the card you sent them? If they adored the cologne you bought them? Do you sit there after spending a short amount of time with them and wonder when is the next time you will have the opportunity to see them again... is it a never knowing never safe always unreciprocated feeling of a relationship? Do most of your relationships lack consistency and peace.
If so start paying attention to the pattern of lover you keep attracting. The energy the auric patterns that keep showing up in each man you date. Have you been dating the same demon in a different body each and every time?
If so take a step back and recognize the pattern of dating that you are doing. Trust and believe I had to figure this out this pattern I needed to heal within my own life also. I was dating the same type of demon in a different man.
It was fucken hell on earth to finally break the pattern. It was a pinnacle part in my life. I broke a pattern and sometimes I do have days where I will pick up the burning coil but for the most part on my behalf my healing has been consistent. I go back to old unhealed patterns now once in a mf random ass blue moon far far far in between and usually it happens when I am in a weak low state of frequency. Breaking patterns of cycles of dating takes time so be gentle with yourself its a marathon not a sprint.
Like, my one client kept dating the same tattooed up, oil rig pig type guys who had drug problems and who were good looking muscular yes.... but were so unhealed emotionally and they would beat her when drug induced. It was bad. She kept repeating this pattern for 11 years kept dating the same exact guy. Over and over again. And each time the pattern was the same. Rich rig pig who always beat her. She finally broke the cycle by taking a break for the first time in her life and taking a step back and examining why she kept dating these type of men.
It was a lot of the exposure she had received in her own household growing up with witnessing her mom dating those types and always beating her mother in front of her. She would witness her mother do drugs in front of her and she was 5 years old when she had to call 911 when her mom over dosed on pills in front of her. It was a lot of childhood trauma that she was carrying into her own adult life.
A lot of the pain she endured as a child she had carried into her own relationships with men. She did not know her birth father her first boyfriend was abusive and broke her jaw at age 14. The cycles of experiencing men beat her never stopped until she was 33 years old and took the time to reflect when that boyfriend had almost successfully killed her.
Patterns need to be recognized, and admitted. They need to be acknowledged and understood that that part of you that inner child is safe now and that part of life is forgiven and it happened, it is accepted and it is forgiven. That that type of trauma is not normal and that that type of love is not love at all but an acting out of pain and grief.
All addiction and abuse stems from pain and grief. Anger and sadness are brother and sister. They are directly inter-related. Self abuse and addiction are inter related. To acknowledge that sad inner child and to really go through the motions and to grieve the childhood you never had. And to grow up in such an extreme traumatic home ladled with addiction and all types of abuse takes years to decades at times to fully heal.
To let that little version of you know that you are worthy of a healthy love. A full love. That does not take from you. That does not abuse you. That does not need you to parent it or mother it but that equal love that 50/50 love. The kind that adds to your happiness. That adds to your peace.
If you are use to a child home that always brought chaos. And if Chaos was your base line it would take decades to heal these patterns of abuse and inner child healing. TO finally have the taste of a healthy love laced with peace and safety and no underlining motives would be alien to anyone who is use to chaotic, anxious, stress induced, traumatic love.
The way in which you were brought up in your childhood home is a direct link to the way you project love and receive love in your adult hood years. Sometimes these cycles of self sabotage also in receiving love takes time to heal also. A lot of us at young ages had chances and had that healthy, peaceful love but sabotaged it because we did not know what to do with such peace and tranquility. We were use to the bad boy, the prick, the live fast die hard type, the real cocky no fucks given type. Because he brought with him all that anxious, turmoil, emotionally unavailable, verbal abuse we were so use to and accustomed to in our childhood homes. TRAUMA bonding is usually our first love.
That self worth and self love comes in to your life when you are at a stage in your life when you are sick of always being left out in the dark, cold and feeling raped of your heart and your feelings. You get to the place in your life where you are just sick of being sick and tired. It happens.
That is why it is really critical to take a step back and really hold yourself accountable and take a look at your dating patterns. Do you always date bums? Do you always date whores? Do you always date woman beaters? Do you always date cheaters?
Really be real with yourself!!!! You are worth your time and the time it takes to really look at yourself and be alone for awhile. Do not be scared to be alone for awhile and to feel that achy breaky heart you been holding off your whole life. That is your inner child screaming to mourn. That heart break you been feeling since you were a child that you never dealt with. That is what constant pain from childhood is.
I LOVE YOU SO FUCKEN MUCH.
BABY STEPS ..... This Healing takes Times it is a marathon my baby it isn't a sprint.
Be Gentle with yourself!!! Patient with yourself!!!! Take the time needed to reflect.
Love you.
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