There are PEOPLE who come in our life, Like guiding Spirits providing the Missing Lessons we need.
They are both Beautiful individuals like shining stars, like walking angels on earth. They walk in and light up the room, every room without even trying it just happens that true light from within. Magnifying a pillar of both Love & Strength.
Than we have those who bear two faces, One Face, the face who shows you the tastes of heaven on earth real sun in human form telling you everything you need to hear in the moment, feeding what you need in that moment. Making you feel high flying in the sun care free and happiest you ever been painting that picture at first of pure bliss you didn't know Exists.
Than one day you realize you never laugh anymore, you realize you gave everything you have. You notice you don't do what makes your heart anymore and the once source of happiness your sun on earth you realize is a source of depression and endless sadness. You become too familiar with your darkness and one day wake up realizing your a shadow of your once happy self. The person you fell in love with was playing Face hiding behind who he truly was.
Lies upon Lies coming to light. Slow Abuse and control seeped into your union. With your huge heart you try focus on the beautiful that was once and try to convince yourself that the person you initially fell in love with is still there, that that was who he truly was.
What is your Lesson in this. What are your Strengths you have gained from walking away from the Abuser. The slow narcist that slowly seeped into your life, preying on your light, like moth to a flame he fed you everything you needed to hear at that part in your life.
Walking away from your abuser what did you learn?
Was it your STRENGTH?
Was it your SELF WORTH
Was it your Healthy Boundaries?
Was it your low Self Esteem
Was it your Sad Inner Child?
Was it Co-dependency on helping your lovers instead of being 50/50
Looking after your parents who were emotionally unavailable or were abusive towards you as a child makes you a child pleasing kid always giving giving giving over extending yourself to make your parent love you or happy. Watch this pattern as you choose lovers in adult hood. You may still be that Sad inner child trying to give give give force your lover to love you by over extending yourself.
Not realizing you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are and you are WORTHY OF love. Your SELF WORTH IS determined by you and You chooosing to be LOVED right. You deserve a healthy beautiful love. Don't trauma bond. You are worthy of Healthy Calm Happy Love.