clb016
- Nov 25, 2021
- 6 min read

HOLIDAY-WORKING SADNESS/BLUES!!!

The Christmas holidays are a lonely son of a bitch for a lot of folks walking this earth. The kids babies in the system in the foster home systems with no parents or families to call home no community base, The old folks that are segregated to stay in there old folks homes away separate from other people via COVID regulations, the daughters who have just lost there mothers, the sons who just lost there fathers and grandparents, the parents who just lost a child, the rig pig who has to work the Christmas and new years float, the exchange students from war torn countries, the new moms with children starting out new lives, the young adults who are workaholics who are the youngest newest at the company and have to take the nose bleed shifts.

Being a crazy ass workaholic that I am I always work through Christmas. Ever since my pops passed away the Christmas right after I made sure I worked that Christmas season because it made my heart feel good that I was doing what I love. Which is Human service things. Always makes my heart so happy to share love and give love. But, as of late I am like Fuck okay Cherish Let us take this Christmas season off now and go home and Jingle all the way hf.

I miss Home and loved ones during the Holidays. I miss hugging family and going door to door house to house and hugging and kissing everyone. I miss hugging everyone and every house smelling like sweetgrass and moose hide and turkey smells. I miss that. I miss the energy of love when you walk in and sometimes a brush of some weed auntie still has lingering on her clothes. The smell of weed though reminds of love and it is a smell that reminds me of happiness. Because I am not going to say which auntie but my fave auntie who was like my third mom after my kokum and my birth mom that auntie my fave auntie I'm not saying her name... always felt like pure love and safety and smelled like weed. She always had hugs and love and yes she would black out here and there but what mom doesn't when you're young? All moms are blackie chans here and there.

So, Yeah Christmas season especially living far away not trying to get pity or throw a poor me train because that isn't my style .. the reality is just facts that it does get lonely during holidays being away from your loved ones. Even annoying as fuck cousins who manage to get dragged out of family events because they were drinking home brew and no one said it was allowed next thing you know there ranking out crying out crying around swinging at cousin Cory for something 22 years ago fuck. lol

Like even memories like that to be made I love and Cherish because I just love my family and my relations and my home fire unconditionally and I know shit gets messy in fams sometimes like hella messy but it is something that goes on in every single family walking this planet. The more I have traveled and been around the way I have seen every culture experienced every family nuclear unit and have seen from every walk of life and country that every family is fucked up in there own way. There own private fucked up way. There is not many families that I have crossed paths with that are entirely straight and narrow parents never had affairs, kids don't have mental health issues, daughters a whore.. lol I kid you know what I mean.. lol There is not one family that doesn't have some kind of skeleton in the closet or deep rooted pain event.

We are all in this life trying our hardest to just want what everyone else wants which is Happiness. You think the guy that is on the street drunk drinking hairspray and rub planned to be plastered his whole adult life when he was a little greenhorn innocent child? Most definetly not. This society has set it up this Matrix is set up where we work 9 to 6 , 5 times a week and never see our children or parents and our children are raised and taught from the majority of there life from strangers. We spend 2 hours a day with them at that and by the end of the day we are exhausted. I know this because I parented before.

This life takes a community. It takes a community to raise a child is a saying and I keep seeing it more and more in this society as I mature in my own life.

Holidays are a tough time for a lot of folks and we got to agree that being nice and reaching out at this time of year is the most important time to pick up the phone and call people or check up on people. This is the most important time of the year. Depression and suicide are at all time rate this time of the year. And to drop a hey I love you guys phone call means a million dollars to a lot of folks. TO me it would because Fck real talk I do not like talking on the phone to people lol So, when I call or talk to you that means I really give a fck about you. lol So, you better live bitch through the holidays and you better grow old and have 10 babies. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.

Sorry, got carried away there fucken big bitch Rose could have fit Jack on that fucken raft cheap weak ass ho entitled bitches smh

Call your family and know KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR HURTING UNIT FEELINGS!!! DURING THE Holidays you aint the only sad bitch Out There get over yourself there are millions and alot of people you know who are going through the same thing as you but who do not voice there heart felt feelings and you know those are the people you want to check in the most are the quiet ones because the quiet ones do not say if they are suicidal they just fucken do it. Because they are usually the biggest hearted and do not want to "burden" people with there sadness.

Make sure check on your quiet friends, your strong friends, make sure check on the old grumpy neighbor go give him a plate and force a hug upon his ass.

Make sure smile and cry when need be. Try stay sober as much as possible during this holiday season!! Alcohol is a depressant and its sole purpose is to make your ass depressed and to make you think depressive suicidal guilt thoughts. So, try stay sober if you are going through a rough time a rough couple months okay. Just watch funny tiktoks and in between that cry and go try visit alot and volunteer at a soup kitchen or go have some tea at A & W. Take the kids out your neice and nephews for snow ball fights and skating, sliding just get the fuck outside and walk each day too. Anything to get your heart warm during this holiday season. YOu are not alone in this world. At this point the majority of the whole fucken world is going through the row so at this point we are all in this together.

Cry lots when you need to and don't be afraid to have sad bitch days or cry in your pick up truck, yell and get mad at God because at least you are telling him how you feel and letting out that Soul cry. Those deep soul crys are the true healers. Cry til your eyes are chapped shut just like your ass gets gorilla glued shut after taking down the last girl at the party.

I LOVE YOU YOU BEAUTIFUL LITTLE WEIRDO. YOUR EXISTANCE MATTERS YOU ARE SPARKLY YOU ARE LOVED!! YOU ARE NEVER ALONE & THERE IS ALWAYS A SHOULDER & HELP A CALL OR HUG AWAY!!!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!

HOLIDAY-WORKING SADNESS/BLUES!!!

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